Sex Choices
OK, now that I have your attention, I want some feedback on this one!
You may remember I've been volunteering with teen moms at the high school. Wow! I think the program is an immense help to them, but an even greater help would be not having to deal with this in the first place. Duh.
So, tell me, please:
if you were NOT sexually active in high school, why weren't you? What tools did you have to help you make the choice? What made a difference for you? Was it lack of opportunity, moral conviction, fear of repercussions, personal responsibility?
and if you WERE sexually active in high school, how did you make that choice? What did it mean to you? Could anything have "stopped" you, and if so, what? Do you think now that it was a good choice for you then?
As for me... I had plenty of opportunity, unfortunately; I never took advantage of it, fortunately. I was afraid of disappointing my parents, had my mind set on college, and had an ideal about sex being such an important thing I didn't want to share it with just "anyone". Romanticized, perhaps, but it does work. I thought about my partner: would I have wanted him to have been sleeping around before he slept with me? STDs, pregnancies, pain...all this played into my decision, and it was a conscious decision. I also assumed that IF I had sex, I WOULD get pregnant--statistically not true, but it was a good deterrent. Oh, and there was that pastor thing--I knew in high school I wanted to be a pastor, and sleeping around did not seem a good choice. Besides, I dated all the gay guys at school and wasn't enough in love with anyone to want to.
So, what's your story? This is a sociological survey; I'm pondering how we might reduce the rate of teen pregnancies in this community (currently 50 women are pregnant at San Marcos High School). Teach me.
Thanks.
posted by Pastor Lori @ 6:40 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Hey PL! I wasn't sexually active in high school, for many of the same reasons you mentioned for yourself. I did have a friend, also, who was pregnant at 15, married 2 weeks after she turned 16, gave birth at 16, and has since been divorced. Watching her go through those painful choices at such a young age was a MAJOR deterrent for me, but with 50 moms-to-be at SMHS, the "I don't want to go through what I'm seeing in front of me" factor doesn't seem to be doing much.
I think that bringing the issue of teen pregnancy out in the open might do a lot down the road to reduce the incidences... my friend had to go to an "alternative" high school so she could get her diploma and raise her daughter.
I didn't have any serious relationships in high school, and I always felt that I would really have to love someone a lot to share sex with them. Also, my parents were very against pre-marital sex and I didn't really rebel against them. Now I wish I had rebelled more! But I think also having and aunt, a cousin, and some family friends who dealt with teen pregnancy made me more willing to wait.
Hello. Well, in high school I did have the opportunity and I entertained it. I was in love, and I thought we'd spend the rest of our lives together. You know the story. What stopped me was being very aware of how young I was in the grand scheme of things. I was 18. That already seems like a kid to me, and I'm only 21. Having sex at 18 just seemed scary, like I'd totally mess it up somehow.
Also, my sister got pregnant as a teen, and I saw how hard her life was for years. It's not just 9 months, it's an entire lifetime.
And I didn't want to upset my parents. My other siblings had sex in their teens, but I thought I was the exception. And I was also in denial of other people having sex in high school. It didn't dawn on me until college that my peers really DID have sex!
I am going back and reading old entries that catch my eye if you haven't noticed, leaving messages along the way. You are keeping me busy at work. It has been kind of slow around here today. This one defiantly caught my attention! I am going to send an email of my thoughts though.
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